Saturday, October 27, 2007
A lil story ...
Once there was a family who went overseas to get a better life . They were a loving family . There were papa, mama, big brother, big sister and lil child . Lil child's name was SF . When SF grew up, he met XY and they became a couple . SF was charming, kind, gentle, funny, forgiving, smart, hardworking . It seems that Sf didn't have a flaw at all . But XY was rough, hot-tempered, lazy, mean . But despite that, SF still loves XY alot . No matter what XY does to SF, SF always forgave XY .
One day, news broke out that SF's country was in chaos . SF & XY were watching the news together . XY kept cursing the people who harmed SF's people . But SF was watching calmly, not even uttering a word . He felt that there wasn't a need to curse them, as it wouldn't help one bit . It wouldn't stop the suffering SF's people are going through . XY noticed SF wasn't even saying a word . XY kept quiet also . XY knew SF was feeling useless . Watching your people fall one by one and not being able to help . All SF could do was just watch . It's such a painful experience no one can bear . XY wanted to comfort SF but couldn't find the right words . So XY just kept quiet .
A few weeks later . SF was acting all weird . SF kept saying that XY is such a good catch, XY is worth snatching, SF is not worthy of XY . And all XY could say was, "If i wanted to leave you, i would long ago instead of waiting till now." . Finally SF said, "Who wants a person whose country is poor and chaotic ?" . As XY wasn't good with words . Saying the same thing was all XY could do .
XY wanted SF to know that XY won't leave SF for a stupid reason like that . XY knew that if XY leaves SF, XY wouldn't be able to find someone as tolerating and forgiving as SF . XY loves SF alot too, it's just that XY don't show it . XY didn't even look down on SF one bit, in fact XY looks up to SF as a role model to become a better person . Its just that XY's character is too stubborn and wants to be right all the time . XY didn't want SF to feel useless either . XY knew that SF works hard to have a better future and maybe even help SF's people be free from those evil cluthes one day . XY feels that those people who chose to run away and close an eye despite they could help are the useless ones ! They are no different from those people ! XY really loves SF alot . It's just that XY's too proud to show it .
Wish them well, ya ??? ^^
Monday, October 22, 2007
Was crying ...
What's worst is that you dont even know ...
Or maybe you dont even care ...
All you care about was whether i'm coming or not ...
So tired of you not understanding me one bit ...
So tired of putting a fucking fake smile all the time ...
You make me feel so uncomfortable being with you, do you even know that ???
Hope you'll know that i'm not blaming you ...
We're not in the wrong ...
Its just that i feel that we're not compatible ...
It feels as if we're worlds apart ...
Many times i've told you i'm so sick and tired of all the stuff and all ...
But nothing goes in ...
Whatever i've said ... You'll forget ...
Every single thing we do is opposite ...
There's not even one thing that we share in common ...
So tired of tears ...
So tired of everything ...
I've tried, k ???
You just dont realise it ...
You take it as something else ...
Forget it ...
Dont wish to speak any further ...
Dont worry ...
I wont speak of any stuff i dont like anymore ...
It'll just bring more unhappiness ...
Friday, October 19, 2007
Went to dada's school today ... ^^
Dada so sweet nor ... Buy food for me ...
The spring chicken was nice lor ...
But its kinda cold le cause the stupid bus sooooo long then come ... >=(
Anyway the spring chicken was still nice la ...
Dada buy for me de of course nice lor ... xD
Heez ...
Dada so naughty lor ...
In lab still play online game ... xD
He was like playing dota racing with his friends whereas i watch "It Started With A Kiss" ... =D
It's a taiwan tv show ...
The show is like darn nice, can ??? The songs are also nice ...
ITS A MUST WATCH I TELL YOU !!!
Its one of the nicest tv series since "Goong" ???
For those who like "Goong", i guarantee you will looooovvvee "It Started With A Kiss" ... ^^
You can watch it in youtube ...
Night came and we had to leave ...
Dada fetched me home ....
But the whole trip was awfully quiet ...
When we arrived at the elevator ...
Dada was like acting kinda weird ...
He kept hugging me ...
And he also started saying weird stuff like "you're worth snatching", "dont leave me", "hug me 1 last time before you go" ...
It was not as if i were gonna leave him lor ...
So i asked if he had anything to tell me ...
So we sat down below my block to have a conversation ...
He told me that all of our conversations were always going on because of him ...
He was always the 1 asking questions ...
Whereas i occasionally asked a few ...
Plus he's busy with his major project and i'm busy with my exams ...
So the chances of us meeting is low ...
He was like going to cry lor ...
I felt so guilty ...
I didnt know that i gave him so much fear and insecurities ...
Baby ...
I just want you to know that i love you, k ???
And its not that i dont wanna have a conversation with you ...
Its just that sometimes when i open my mouth, i'll hurt someone unknowingly ...
So i choose not to speak much ...
1 year 4 months ...
Isnt that enough to proof my love for you ...
You should know that once i lost my feelings for someone ...
I wont give that person false hope that i'm still in love with him ...
I'd rather end it ...
Thanks for bearing my nonsense all this while ...
I do know how you feel towards me ...
I didnt realise that my silence brought you so much pain ...
I promise i'll talk to you more often, ya ???
Dont be sad le nah ...
I love you ...
Muacks ! ^^
Friday, October 12, 2007
Me and zhennie
Went to see some showflats with bibi and mummy yesterday ...
Among them , all of us love the flat at sembawang most ...
Hahas ... Pai seh ... No photos ...
Chou bibi only take one picture which is not at sembawang ... LoLx ...
The colour concept and design were gorgeous ... (=
The wadrobe not only has mirror on it, it's also a sliding wadrobe lor !
Cool right ???
Mirrors were everywhere ...
Me and bibi keep saying that tutu will love it as the house was surrounded with mirrors ...
And when i told her about it this morning ...
She sure did love it ... xD
Hahas ...
But the flat we wanted isnt a sure get ...
Well ... The early bird catches the worm you see ...
Irritating lor ... >=(
Though my mummy registered her name early ...
We're not sure if there's someone who's earlier or booked the house before us lor ...
The results will be out on the 19th of this month ...
Please dont get sembawang pleeeaaaasssseee ... *prays*
CANT WAIT TILL NEXT FRIDAY LA !!!
Heart also wanna burst liao ... *faints*
Bibi turn to use com liao ...
Bai Bai ^^
Feeling emo again ...
Never thought that i'll be feeling this way again ...
The feeling of my heart ripping apart ...
Thousands of arrows slowly piercing through not sparing a single piece ...
The darkness shrouding despite the light around you ...
Voices, everywhere ...
All mocking and laughing at me ...
Really needed you by my side ...
But words were kept deep inside ...
Didnt wanna add more to your burdens ...
But instead you added more to mine ...
Secrets you kept from me ...
What do you take me for ???
Your friends are your shelther ...
I'm the filthy rain ...
You made me feel like a rag and your friends vases ...
The rags cleanse the vases ...
But the vases gets the attention where the rags get dump aside ...
So sick and tired of everything ...
The feeling was simply out of this world ...
Nothing can compare the pains i felt and went through ...
People tend to hate emo's ...
But dont they experience sad moments by themselves ...
Shouldnt they hate themselves too ???
People who depise others should be ashame of themselves ...
Who are they to speak of others when they're imperfect themselves ???
Dont wish to speak more further ...
Too weak to carry on ...
I'm just inflicting more pain on my flesh and on others ...
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Today wont be meeting dada ... )=
That goes for tomorrow till sat ... *sigh*
I'll have to wait till sunday before i can hold him again ... ^^
Till then ... All i can do is just miss him ...
No wait ... I'll be going to church with him, so ... *gasps*
AAAHHH !!! Still got his parents ! SOB !!!
Dont think can even sit beside him ... T.T
Never mind nah ...
At least i'm going out with liping qing ai di later on ... [=
We're gonna buy zhennie da ben dan's birthday present ...
Dunno what to buy for her neh ...
Listening to "purest of pain" now ...
Gimme back my fantasy ~
The courage that i need to live ~
The air that i breathe ~
My world's become so empty ~
My days were so cold and lonely ~
Each night i taste ~
The purest of pain ~
OH MY GOSH !!! I'M GETTING EMO AGAIN !!!
Argh !!!
Haiz ...
Think i'll watch prince of tennis to make me feel better ...
Bai Bai ~
Monday, October 8, 2007
Aloha !!!
Went to dada's house today for tuition ...
Auntie gave me assignments lor ... )=
Then dada went to his friend house to take the play station ...
He took super long to come back lor ... *sob*
Left me all alone to "suffer" ...
Humph ...
When he came back ...
It was like already 8 plus nors ... >=(
Then he went to the kitchen to cook for everyone ...
I helped him a little la ...
Dinner was great ... ^^
After that i wanna slack awhile ...
So me and emma jie chatted ...
We turn on some music, started following the lyrics and singing lor !!! x)
Then got some parts we cannot catch the tune so we anyhow lor ...
Dada was like gonna die soon ...
LoLx ! xD
We were like creating such a din lor !
I was like swaying from left to right while singing ...
Soon emma jie also swayed with me ... =B
But hor, i sang about 2 songs then have to go home le ...
Cause i promised my sisters that i will bring home the plate for the "thanaka" ...
( Its some kinda facial thingy ... (= )
All 3 of us put the "thanaka" ...
Bibi was like "jie ... like mud lor" and tutu was like "jie ... very dry" ...
Hahas ... They're so cute can ???
Then after that i help my ah ma put also ...
Hahas ... xD
So sad nors ...
Dada not only cannot play online game with me, he is also so stressed out because of his STUPID PROJECT ...
Stupid lor ... I wished i could help him destress or something lor ...
Haiz ...
Never mind la ... Tomorrow i help him massage ... ^^
I love me dada many many and deep deep ... (*^.^*)
Bai Bai ^^
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Yoz ...
Quarelled with my boyfriend again lor ... Sianzzz ...
Why ???
Because i overslept and i never go to HIS church then after that he want me to go to his house ...
Just nice when i prepared finish my sis told me that my boyfriend pm her on msn ...
Said what he's waiting for me like crazy ...
So i called him immediately to find him sleeping ...
So yah ... I got mad at him and i decided to go out with my friend to buy my friend's birthday gift ...
I havent met her like since ever la ...
What's more she isnt free on weekdays ...
Go out with her one day only also cannot ...
He can go out with his friends then why i cannot ???
Not fair la ...
Please lor ...
I dont have as much friends as him lor ...
He wanna ask who out also can, i cannot lor ...
All my friends are either schooling or working le ...
Aiya dont say le la ...
Oh !
Watched The Last Samurai today ...
Super sad lor ... T.T
But the stupid thing is japanese kill japanese ... -.-
Why must kill their own people sia ???
Crazy bunch of people ...
Then i suddenly remember about the burmese people ... *sob*
I heard that after the UN representative left mynmar ...
The military army captured about 8 trucks of people and drove off lor !
What are they gonna do to them ?!
Hope they'll be alright ... Sniff ...
EVERYONE MUST PRAY FOR THEM, K ???
Pray for their freedom ...
And that the military amy will be brought to justice one day ...
Hopefully they'll "LONG ZHONG SI KAR LIAO" !!!
( It means every single one of them die in cantonese xD )
LoLx ... ^^
Enough of my nonsense ...
Bai Bai ... ^^
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Sniff ... I miss dada ... )=
Wanna see him soon ...
I had to get sick and lazy all the time ...
Dont wanna be lazy le ...
I'm like forever in a daze ... zzz
Darn sick of my hack-care attitude lor ...
Everytime wanna change for the better le
then my fucked-up attitude had to surface ...
Its as if my attitude has its own life ...
Once i lose my temper it goes outta control ...
What the hell lor ...
Seriously wish that i can be a better person for everyone ...
I dont wanna worry everyone de lor ...
I dont wanna lor ...
Haiz ...
WHEN WILL I LEARN TO GROW UP ???
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Haiz ...
This morning was supposed to go to HIS house for tuition de ...
But i was sleeping happily so yah ...
Me and HIM quarelled ...
Accusing me say what i super acting as the VICTIM !
I know its my fault ...
But HE didnt have to say till liddat right ?
I was like gonna explode la !
After that i kinda didnt reply HIM ...
Then HE told me that i hurt his loved one's feeling by not coming ...
Then he ended the conversation by saying he will never forgive me ... -.-
As i didnt wanted or intended to let his loved one down ...
So i decided to prepare and left my house for HIS house ...
* F.Y.I - I went not to seek HIS forgiveness cause i seriously cant be bothered at that time ...
So when i reach HIS house ...
I put on a scary face ... My actions were "you better not come the fuck near me" ...
HIS WORDS REALLY HURT ALOT LA !!!
(Thats the scary thing about english educated people ...
They can hurt you even without scolding vulgarities ... zzz )
HIS loved one thought that i really wasnt coming and left ...
Sian ...
So went to the kitchen then HE followed also ...
HE said HE "forgive me" ...
Initially i had my doubts ...
As if i will believe HIM liddat ...
I really hate people who put on a mask and i didnt know if HE is or not ...
Then HE keep giving that sad face la ...
And i know its my fault to begin with ...
So i believe that HE really forgive me ...
After that everything was ok le lor ...
Me and HIM were talking, eating and watching tv shows ...
Then night came and i had to leave ...
Then HE told me HE had to meet his friend walk, walk ...
So me and HIM went down to wait for HIS friend ...
When HE called HIS friend ...
Smiles and laughter was all over HIS face...
Hello ... Can like at least show me some respect or not ?
When HIS friend was about to arrive ...
HE was like rushing to meet HIS friend and left me behind ...
When HIS friend arrive ... I had to go cause its gonna be late ...
So they fetched me to the bus stop ...
As i didnt want to interupt with their conversations so i walked infront ...
Just in time my bus arrived ...
So i went home alone like always ...
As soon as i reached home ...
My grandma told me HE just put down the phone ...
I called HIM immediately ...
1st call was a "kap", 2nd call HIS hp was off ...
So i called HIS house to realise that HE wasnt home yet ...
1 hour of my trip home and HE is still not home ...
About 10-20 mins later ...
HE called , "sorry my hp no batt"
I replied , "oh ok"
I was like waiting for an explaination why HE was out for more than an hour ...
Its not as if i want him to never ever see HIS friend again lor ...
All i wanted was a explaination why they were out so long ...
After an hour of dropping clues ...
HE told me that HIS friend stead come and they went for supper ...
But the stead went to each with his friends ...
So HIM and HIS friend went to kfc for a drink ...
FINALLY !!!
Was that like fucking hard to tell ???
I seriously didnt know why HE didnt wanna tell me lor ...
I already made it clear that i HATE IT when he is hiding something or not telling me stuff lor ...
It was not as if i forbid HIM to meet all of HIS friends except me lor !
Grrr !!!
AIYA WHATEVER LA ...
Sick of it already ...
